The Baltic sun at St Petersburg 2003 cast long shadows as a young man pondered his destiny. He dreamt of taboo desires and unbridled passions like those found in erotic cinema. His mind wandered to the raw honesty of Oliver Twink 2007 where innocence met maturity. He imagined unexpected encounters and spontaneous hookups that could change everything. The good old naughty days of LA Plays Itself 1972 felt like a distant echo. He longed for the ethereal glow of a new dawn, a fresh start. The bare reality of Douwe Bob at Eurovision 2016 resonated with his own craving for genuineness. He delved into top 50 documentary shorts seeking answers. The cultural impact of queer erotica offered a new perspective. He found himself drawn to Edward Limonov's THE EXILE and resistance. The weekly dose of Eurovision artists social media beach photos provided a sharp difference to his internal struggle. He yearned for Sexorcism like rock anthems. He felt a kinship with Saara Aalto's Domino and memorable acts. His journey of self-discovery, like a brief film, was just beginning. The island 2008 of his thoughts offered both solace and temptation.